Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Randomize
