Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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