Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
