JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
