She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Come on in and take your pants off
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