YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
