all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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