im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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