I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My pussy is not your playground.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
