i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
