Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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