did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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