I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
