I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
