Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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