I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
MIDGETS
????
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
