dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
