omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
