is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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