Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
