I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize