I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
