we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
