I will die if light touches me.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
