My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
