First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
This beer is not sobering me up at all
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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