based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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