Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
