I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
