yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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