Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He better not be in your backpack
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
