question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
