Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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