I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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