Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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