so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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