I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
