I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I need water and some morals
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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