Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
