Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
