What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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