Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
