it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
