umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
