new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
