What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
