He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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