apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize