just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize
