Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
