like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She's the barista slut.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
