You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
