no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
