I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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