your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
