I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
