New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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