Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
