He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
