Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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