I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
