Umm I'm too high to move.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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