That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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